The Schmindys

We are the Schmindys. This is our story.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

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at 2:15 PM

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Thumpy Schmindy

Our political correspondent, always high on meth and ready to kick some ass.

Madden Schmindy

Thumpy's meth dealer and one hell of a father.

Oister Schmindy

This guy makes France look like Missoula Montana.

Peter Schmindy

Our resident chain smoking surfer dude with a bad case of narcolepsy.

Behr Schmindy

Our jewish personal trainer who is currently lost in LA.

Zander Schmindy

The only moroccan man to ever live. ever.

Granny "Grandma" Schmindy

If you see this man sober, please call: 1-800-INAILEDYOURMOM.

Yakov "The Outsider" Putin-Schmindy

Every family needs an outsider. This is ours: a convicted felon in 9 States, wanted for murder by potato gun in 3 countries, and Castro's "new" best friend.

Soup Schmindy

This American-born Jewish Frenchman is our in-house gourmet chef and sommelier. His latest selection: a 1983 bottle of Oy Vey Zmir with a side of Kishka.